Dear Satan Claus...

That's how a few of my students began their homework assignment today.  I told them all to write a letter to Santa asking for a gift for Christmas Eve.  A lot of our students get letters mixed up, since Chinese doesn't have letters or spelling the way that English does...thus, Santa Claus becomes Satan Claus.

I will now include two of my favorite letters from class today:

Dear Stanta,
  I do love you.  Here I want to beg u for a Christmas present.  It should be a box of happiness.  If I open it, everyone would forget their suffering but get their happiness.  I would be appreciate if you give it to me.  Dear Stanta, waiting for your present.
Sincerely,
Annie

Santa Claus:
You ok?  You feel cold?
Now I'm writting to ask for a gift for I've been nice ever since birth.  I'm wondering would you mind giving me Rudolf as a gift since I'm really afraid of the dark and I hate walking long to class, the distance is killing me!
Cookie and milk are ready!  Don't forget to bring the little reindeer!
Sincerely:  Tim

To tell the truth, I'd be happy with either of those gifts myself.

We have liftoff

On December 1st, one fateful week ago, the city of Yichang reached it's prime.  As promised (a second time), the great kahuna known as Walmart opened in our lowly city!  I was determined to go shopping there, whether or not the doors had actually opened this time.  To my delight, they had, and I marched in, ready to experience all the shopping magnificence that Walmart had to offer me.  To say it was crowded would be a ridiculous understatement.  It was so crowded that they kept security guards on the escalators to make sure that too many people didn’t get on and break them.  Whoever is in charge of marketing at the Walmart here is either completely insane or an evil genius.  He (or she) decided that, in the land of rice and oil, that on the opening day of the biggest supermarket in city, they would offer a huge sale on RICE and OIL.  When I made it to the center of the beast, there were literally hundreds of Chinese housewives waiting in line to buy gallons of oil and 50-pound bags of rice.  Fortunately, I have absolutely no desire to buy either of those things, so I happily pushed my cart through the aisles, more and more delighted with every step.  The highlights, things that didn’t exist in Yichang until now:  Christmas wrapping paper, smallmouth bass, bell peppers, root beer, pints of ice cream, strawberries out of season, take-home pizza, cough drops, and ziploc bags!!!  We’re all really excited.  We’re even more excited for the day the crowds dwindle, and we can lay siege to “our” store.